So there I was, on IMDb.com, arguing on the message boards of my favorite anime series about whether or not Shirugata was hotter than Nihayato, when I noticed a banner ad unlike anything I had ever seen before. Look to your right for more details.

Now, we've all seen those banner ads which "quiz" us by showing us a picture of Elijah Wood and asking, "Is this Kobe Bryant, Elijah Wood, or a toaster?" Allegedly, if we brainstorm long and hard enough to answer the Mensa-esque question correctly, we are awarded with some conditionally free prize. That much is nothing new, and while the PS3 might be, it's not the surprising part of this whole deal. What strikes me about this banner ad is the fact that the answer is, somehow, not obvious. The people behind this one clearly don't want to give out free PS3's to everyone; such a prize is reserved for only those elite members of the quiz-taking population, those who are just a step above the rest and should be handsomely rewarded for being able to distinguish a female celebrity's legs.

Not about to be stumped by a banner ad, I immediately forgot about the reply I was writing to "shattered_moontears_105" and his claim that Kyoshi Tepal could kick Gayonashi's ass without any help from Ted, and concentrated on the image in front of me, determined to win the free PS3, or at least the chance to do so by sending spam mail to fifty friends. Anyway, I knew that I had one shot - just one shot - to get this one right. Everyone knows that if you click the wrong answer of a banner ad quiz, the promotional offer immediately expires. And it's not like you stumble upon a banner ad offering free prizes eevry day. Using contet clues, I noted that the pair of legs was in front of a car, and sported tight cutoff jean shorts. I recalled how this past summer, they'd released a Dukes of Hazard remake starring Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke, who dealt primarily with cars and tight cutoff jean shorts. Lo and behold, I was correct. I guess they know from my IP address what my name is and where I live, because I didn't have to fill out any information on where to send the PS3 to.

Anyway, this got me thinking about where banner ads could be headed next. If banner ad participants are expected to be creepy enough to know Jessica Simpson's legs from Angelina Jolie's or Jennifer Lopez's, what other online celebrity matching exercises loom in the near future? Just how creepy or pervish are today's Internet-users expected to be? To find out, I've designed some sample banner ads. I won't bullshit you; there's no prize involved. That said, if you can answer all three questions correctly, I'll give you a free* iPod!

I figured I'd start with something not too creepy, but still somewhat perverted. This one is b no means commonly known stuff, but you shouldn't feel like a complete perv if you've seen it before and can recognize it. They keyword here is of course complete. You should not feel like a complete perv...

Whose rack is this?
A) Jessica Simpson's
B) Britney Spears'
C) Elisha Cuthbert's

Moving on, we'll kick it up a notch in creepiness. See, at least women's chests vary somewhat noticably, even to your average non-perverted person. But it takes a true expert who has seen several bikini bottoms on several different people to get this next one.

Whose crotch is this?
A) Pam Anderson's
B) Carmen Electra's
C) Jenna Jameson's

So yes, it takes a total creep to be able to differentiate celebrity crotches. But anyone who knows this next one off the top of their head just flat out has issues. If you can get this next one right without being a stalker or one of those creepy obsessive fans who gets restraining orders put on them, well, I'm impressed.

Whose elbow is this?
A) Elizabeth Hurley's
B) Jennifer Lopez's
C) Sandra Bullock's

*by "free" I really mean "grin and a slap on the back if you buy yourself a new"